I Remain Undefeated!

So I’m going to sort of rush through this, I have to write an annotated bibliography after this and bibliographies happen to be the thing I fear most. I always save the bibliographies to the last possible day and then struggle endlessly to produce at best a faulty bibliography. Those were just normal bibliographies I’m told that annotated bibliographies are much harder. I plan on test driving next Saturday and am almost positive that it will be the last time. I came so close last time if I just move my head a little more when crossing intersections and if I can repeat everything I did last time I will definitely pass. And will be back next week with some positive news to blog about and will end whole quest for a license theme with much relief. And if I don’t pass and have to keep up this boring blog I give everyone full permission to laugh at me, chances are I will probably be laughing too.

The Importance of Public Television

you have all already read about my failure at the Drivers station that I was able to describe for you in approximately seven hundred words and have a total five hundred left to split between two blogs. I have no new material that directly relates directly to my selected topic of driving or more specifically my driver’s license which is currently nonexistent. Due to all this I will simply choose to lament on whatever comes into my mind first which happens to be my channel selection because I am currently watching TV. I will swallow my pride and admit that I am currently watching rescue heroes and have been known to watch IPTV and have all the theme songs memorized. I know this sounds sad and in reality it is very sad of a teenager but in reality the shows aren’t that bad. The reason I watch them is simply because we don’t have cable dish or anything at my house. We receive very few channels and IPTV and qubo/ion are some of the only channels we receive. But it’s not all bad we do get ABC and some other channels allowing me to still enjoy shows like Grey’s Anatomy (that stopped being good as soon as they fired Burke) Glee and NCIS. I have learned the difference between hard and soft c and g and what a limerick is. I have learned the definitions to peculiar on Martha Speaks and what suspicious means on Word girl. I’d say it’s all been worth it for these valuable lessons.

The Bitter Defeat

I will tell you straight out that I didn’t pass. I came closer than ever before to passing which doesn’t take much seeing as I had never before made it out of the parking lot. But being so close to my goal and falling short by so little was so frustrating I’d say that this drive discouraged me more than all my four other ones combined. If I had managed to hide my damaged ego and wounded feeling from rejection all the times before it was a real trial to hide them this time. I am ashamed to say that I may have let a few tears of bitterness and rejection escape but I was not so pitiful to have done so in the presence of the DOT lady. Who by the way was a brand new one that I had never driven with before my selection of fresh DOT ladies who have not yet failed me grows slimmer by one. I admit there was a brief period of time between the walk of shame and the long ride home that I had secretly given up on my noble quest for a license and was wallowing in self pity until my father took me to Mc Donald’s and bought me a number three breakfast meal. On the way home I made my dad drive cause there was no way you were getting me behind that wheel again so soon after I was still all raw from my recent failure. The drive began more prospectively than any of my others before. We arrived there at eight just in time to see my pastor and his daughter walking out. This was a symbol god giving me his blessing on my drive. Of course I didn’t really think that I was too busy trying to make sure he didn’t notice me. But it was an effective space waster. The line waiting to receive their numbers was exceptionally small compared to how long it usually is on a Saturday morning. We managed to get my number in no time and it was actually called in a little under half an hour. This was turning out to be a record for the shortest wait ever at the Drivers Station. My test drive was scheduled for a half hour a great alternative to the usual hour to two hour wait. I blundered a little on my checks for the car but recovered nicely and exited the parking lot that had, had me stumped for far too long. I never once sped or cut anyone off; I did all my correct stops and didn’t cut any turns short. I used my turn signal correctly and never once did anything that would be considered violating any traffic law. I maintained this level of performance throughout the course of the entire drive and never slipped up. So you’re probably wondering why she failed me if I did everything so perfectly. The reason for my failure was because I didn’t look around enough at the intersections. This is just plain stupid because no one was ever coming and I always had a green light or the right of way whenever crossing an intersection. And before you go thinking I crossed intersections blindly putting naïve trust that everyone else would simply give me the right of way that I deserved, I didn’t. I used my peripheral vision which marching band has honed to perfection. Well apparently the DOT lady couldn’t notice the movement of my eyes without the movement of my head and failed me. You may still think this is a somewhat major offence but let me assure you a blind man could tell that all the intersections were empty and it was safe to pass. And this was the tiniest of tiniest sections of the whole drive which I poned by the way. I am very angry right now. I can assure you I will definitely be back next Saturday to give those ladies hell. I want to see the sheer terror on everyone’s faces when they realize that I am now allowed unsupervised on the road!

I am such a bad person!

This will complete my three entries for the week and hopefully next time I write I will have a license. I will admit that I got a cruel delight when my friend told me she couldn’t get her seventeen year old license for a couple more months because that’s when first got her sixteen year old license. She was super excited all day to get her full license and I secretly was harboring and building up all this jealously and contempt. It was a very rewarding feeling, hearing her say she couldn’t get it. This obviously makes me a bad person and I feel very guilty for my ill wishing of friends.

The fourth attempt

My fourth attempt at my license was basically a repeat of my third all over again. I started by trying to hold a casual conversation with her on the way to the car. A friend of mine who had to test drive and passed on the first time said that was the way to do it. My drive began more smoothly than my other three our friendly chat on the way to the car had left a good impression of myself on the driving lady. Also with another stroke of luck I had gotten what seemed to be the second to last DOT lady who hadn’t had the pleasure of test driving with me yet. I had waited the usual amount of time in line and in the hard plastic chairs and was thinking I had a decent chance of leaving with a license that day. I had completely given up on trying to get my license in fewer tries than my sister and was figuring I had nothing to lose. I successfully maneuvered past the crosswalk and stopped at the stop sign checked left then right and proceeded to the white line and stopped again and checked left and right again and was about to make it out of that cursed parking lot. I never made it that far though as soon as I pulled out the DOT lady screamed STOP! Applied her emergency brake and gave me an evil eye. I returned he gaze with a big cheesy smile oozing charm, sadly she remained unaffected by my charm. She held the vowels out in my name when she said it you know like how grownups do when they want you to do something you don’t want in that fake coaxing voice or they’re going to tell you the inevitable that doesn’t bode well for you; it was like “Ashleeeey”. I was like “Yeeesss” in that same coaxing voice willing her to pass me anyway. Instead she told me to pull into the loser’s parking lot across the street that I had grown pretty accustomed to and head back. On the way back I asked her If I had the record for the most consecutive failures in the parking lot and she said not by far, that made me feel better. We were less talkative walk back into the building. I never talk to others while doing the walk of shame it just spoils the mood. I pasted on one of my grins before entering the buildings one that said so what if I just failed I’m not going to act like a failure. Everyone was nice and joked with me and of course I didn’t mind everyone was just like “that Ashley did it again”. Graig my neighbor (again his actual name is not Graig) offered his son’s driving services to drive me to the DOT every Saturday and I said I would take him up on that. The joke in that is that His son is only in Middle school and I will still be test-driving by the time he gets his license. I often have to remind Graig that an experienced driver can take good care of his car for years but an inexperienced driver can wreck it in seconds, and I could possibly be that inexperienced driver.

Dear Bailee

I once again left my blog to the last possible second along with all the rest of my homework. To make everything more hectic I also have a piano lesson today to make up for the lesson I missed last week and the one I’m going to miss tomorrow. So this may sound a little rushed. I left off at my third attempt so I should begin writing about my fourth and final attempt so far. I’m going in next Saturday to test drive and gain more writing material. I was just informed the other day that all my hard work and effort isn’t going completely ignored and my blog is actually being read. I’d like to apologize to my sole reader (I also apologize if on the off chance I do have more than one reader and I didn’t acknowledge you) for all my pointless blogging and spelling/grammatical errors I never bothered to correct because I thought no one read my blog. Even though I apologize now I must admit I have no intention of correcting my mistakes in the future. All the pointless blogging helps me fill up unwanted space and I would be hard pressed to actually come up with relevant material to take its place and all the spelling and grammatical issues I am simply too lazy to fix. If spell cheek doesn’t get it then chances are I won’t either, who am I to be smarter than a machine? I must simply ask my reader to bear with me and try to interpret the meaning of my words through the many errors. Now that I’m done with all me apologizing I would like to thank my reader for being a true friend and bothering to read my rubbish! Yes I did just say rubbish and I am not British so this is a big no, no for me. I will not divulge my readers name but I will put into my super secret special code. You’ll remember this from when I switched Mr. Tilden’s and Dory’s real names. Bailee I would like to thank you for being my fan! You know who you are. Note to any other potential readers if you know a Bailee it is not her I’m talking about because Bailee is not her real name.

The 3rd attenpt

The third time I went in I was ready to settle. I had really wanted to get it before my third try but obviously that wasn’t going to happen so I was ready to get my license on my third try. There were a number of doubts in my head by this time of my capability to pass but I just pushed them out and waited in a long line that stretched out the door to have my confidence ripped in two. Of course I over dramatize but it was still pretty bad. After I got to the desk I handed the lady my paper that already had two signatures from my past two failed attempts, the lady quickly looked over it without a doubt already forming judgments in her head concerning my driving ability. I was given my number waited a while until my number was called received a test driving time and then went to half price books with my dad. Of course there’s only a certain amount of time you can spend in a book store so when we left the store and found there was still ample time we frequented the library where we spent the remainder of our time before we were expected back. When we returned I had to wait a half hour before being called to drive. I was carefully watching all the DOT ladies trying to discover which one I would have to drive with. I was paying special attention to the one I had had before. Unfortunately things were looking pretty bad If things kept up the same I would have to drive with DOT lady number one again. DOT number one called my name a little after my driving time was scheduled and we proceeded to the car. I passed all the car checks stopped at the crosswalk, and the stop sign went forward to the white line stopped again and went on to cut someone off. This is where my mother says I was stupid. As soon as I had made it on to the street I said “You just failed me there, right?” She confirmed my suspicion and gave me instructions on how to get back to the license station seeing as we had already passed the parking lot across the street. We made it back to the station and by the time we made it back I was over all my indignities and had simply given up caring how long it took me to get my license it’s going to happen eventually. Apparently though you’re not supposed to ask the ladies if they failed you or not. I don’t get this because I would have been failed any way so why not save myself a drive. On the way back I went my average speed which is slightly above the speed limit and wasn’t extra careful of the silly things you worry about when test driving. I mean why not? She can’t fail me twice in one drive.