Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Bitter Defeat

I will tell you straight out that I didn’t pass. I came closer than ever before to passing which doesn’t take much seeing as I had never before made it out of the parking lot. But being so close to my goal and falling short by so little was so frustrating I’d say that this drive discouraged me more than all my four other ones combined. If I had managed to hide my damaged ego and wounded feeling from rejection all the times before it was a real trial to hide them this time. I am ashamed to say that I may have let a few tears of bitterness and rejection escape but I was not so pitiful to have done so in the presence of the DOT lady. Who by the way was a brand new one that I had never driven with before my selection of fresh DOT ladies who have not yet failed me grows slimmer by one. I admit there was a brief period of time between the walk of shame and the long ride home that I had secretly given up on my noble quest for a license and was wallowing in self pity until my father took me to Mc Donald’s and bought me a number three breakfast meal. On the way home I made my dad drive cause there was no way you were getting me behind that wheel again so soon after I was still all raw from my recent failure. The drive began more prospectively than any of my others before. We arrived there at eight just in time to see my pastor and his daughter walking out. This was a symbol god giving me his blessing on my drive. Of course I didn’t really think that I was too busy trying to make sure he didn’t notice me. But it was an effective space waster. The line waiting to receive their numbers was exceptionally small compared to how long it usually is on a Saturday morning. We managed to get my number in no time and it was actually called in a little under half an hour. This was turning out to be a record for the shortest wait ever at the Drivers Station. My test drive was scheduled for a half hour a great alternative to the usual hour to two hour wait. I blundered a little on my checks for the car but recovered nicely and exited the parking lot that had, had me stumped for far too long. I never once sped or cut anyone off; I did all my correct stops and didn’t cut any turns short. I used my turn signal correctly and never once did anything that would be considered violating any traffic law. I maintained this level of performance throughout the course of the entire drive and never slipped up. So you’re probably wondering why she failed me if I did everything so perfectly. The reason for my failure was because I didn’t look around enough at the intersections. This is just plain stupid because no one was ever coming and I always had a green light or the right of way whenever crossing an intersection. And before you go thinking I crossed intersections blindly putting naïve trust that everyone else would simply give me the right of way that I deserved, I didn’t. I used my peripheral vision which marching band has honed to perfection. Well apparently the DOT lady couldn’t notice the movement of my eyes without the movement of my head and failed me. You may still think this is a somewhat major offence but let me assure you a blind man could tell that all the intersections were empty and it was safe to pass. And this was the tiniest of tiniest sections of the whole drive which I poned by the way. I am very angry right now. I can assure you I will definitely be back next Saturday to give those ladies hell. I want to see the sheer terror on everyone’s faces when they realize that I am now allowed unsupervised on the road!

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