I am a proud underachiever

So I guess I won’t be blogging for awhile, seeing as I’m not required to and I’ve never really been accused of being an over achiever. I’ll make this brief I only have slightly more than a hundred words left and I have no plans whatsoever of going over that. I am really tired right now even though it is only eleven but I was forced to get up early this morning to go watch little kids in the nursery and watch an over extravagant Christmas show put on by the church. Also my ipod that I love and have a extensive music collection on temporarily broke, it’s okay now but I was really worried there for a second. I think that about cover all the words I needed and I am free of this for two weeks or so!

Successful?

I totally forgot about blogs until a second ago so I am foregoing my math home work to get this done and will most likely complete my math home work during lunch. Luckily instead of looking up Chuck Norris jokes and other amusing tidbits during our time in the computer lab I was able to complete a blog earlier this week with the majority of all the words I am required to fulfill each week so I only have a few left. But concerning my last blog for my part I do believe that I took my first successful school picture of my high school career! Although right after I took it I noticed that she didn’t even glance at the screen where my picture had popped up to check for blinking or any other obvious flaw in my appearance, this kind of rushed work is what led to my horrible freshman picture with my eyes closed. I’m really hoping I wasn’t blinking, this time if I am I’m keeping them anyway, I am not going to take any retakes this year. Because apparently sense it is now mandatory to enclose a link of some sort in your blogs I will leave you another one of those amusing websites that I mentioned I look up during class other than the Chuck Norris one I already have in a previous blog.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=sloth&gbv=2&aq=f&oq=&aqi=
That should lead to Google images page full of my favorite animal in the world!

Picture Day!

How I truly dread this day. I have a bad history with picture day starting from elementary school and up. My first school picture in first grade I put on my best and biggest smile for the nice lady wearing my favorite techno color puppy dog shirt with the matching stripedy pants not that that matters seeing as you aren’t shown below the waist. When the pictures came back I had my mouth hanging wide open in a big semi toothless grin and my eyes squinting shut, consequently I also missed retakes that year. The next year I started a game with the nice picture lady’s it was called “don’t smile no matter what they tell you” unfortunately the pictures ladies didn’t find it as amusing as me. I t was from second grade on up that I took retakes every year. I took picture after picture all of my scowling face, of course in bargain I would always smile for the retake but the smile was never much better it always looked goofy somehow( even though I really did try to take good retakes). I only missed one other retake and that was when I couldn’t find my check even though it was in my bag the whole time. My older sister attending the same elementary school as me often got comments on me from the picture ladies, all of them negative, one lady said “are you that girls sister? I had the hardest time getting her to smile”. Once in middle school I matured and smiled the first time when asked and got a lot of forced smiles but that was better than scowls. The trouble started up again in high school though I have been here three years and before today have taken only two school pictures to document my time here both didn’t turn out well. The first one I can’t really take all the blame for I was wearing my fruit shirt and having a fantastic hair day everything seemed great and when I got done taking my picture I had a good feeling about it. Except when I actually got the pictures back my eyes were completely closed, not that half open you caught me in the middle of a blink but that I’m totally asleep and unaware type, completely closed. My smile was great so It would’ve been a great picture if didn’t look like I was smiling beautifully in my sleep. The first thing I did when I got them was hide them from my friends which just made them want to see it more, and find my sister, I pulled her away from her friends and showed her my disastrous picture. The first thing she did was laugh then she called over all her friends so they could laugh too, after that she took a picture on her phone of my picture so she could show it to others, she was not very helpful. By then my friends all wanted to see too and now since practically the whole junior class had I figured what was the harm. The liars said they wouldn’t laugh but they all did anyway as did my parents when I brought them home. On the day of retakes I asked my teacher if I could leave class for the retakes he in return asked to see the picture that I needed to retake, my teacher found it hilarious “that’s terrible he exclaimed” and promptly showed to the entire class. This may sound mean but by then I had come to find it funny too and took pleasure from all the attention. When I showed it to the lady doing my retake she also found it bad and wished aloud that she was not the one who took it, luckily she wasn’t and she took extra efforts to make me look pretty in my retake picture. Finally last year I forgot to take pictures altogether or rather lost the check. I didn’t get pictures that year and mom was kind of mad seeing as she now as all my pictures excluding my sophomore year, also mysteriously the check I lost was cashed. We paid but didn’t get the product. So due to all this I am going to try really hard to take a amazing picture this year!

Boring!

I have absolutely nothing to write about. My Google I’m feeling lucky button isn’t working out as well as I’d hoped. I’m not getting enough information that I can actually use and it’s a lot more boring for me and probably the reader than you can imagine. I mayhave to rethink my topic change and come up with a new one, but for now I ‘m just going to struggle with my blog until I can come up with a new topic. I’ll ask my sister for suggestions when she comes home, It’s unfair but colleges dismiss this Wednesday. I’m hoping for another three snow days this week but I guess I can settle for two snow days too. I am really at a loss here about what I should write about so I’m just going to end this early, hopefully I’ll have more to write about next week or a new topic that actually works.

Chuck Norris

As I told you in my previous post this one will be about how my mom was a jerk but on second thought I don’t think that’s a good idea I was just mad at the time. I will write about Chuck Norris instead, always an agreeable alternative. I have roughly eight hundred words left and I’m not sure if I can describe the awesomeness of Chuck Norris in only eight hundred words. I typed in the name to Google as usual and came up with Chuck Norris Facts. Theese are a few of my favorites.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
These are only a few of them there are some pretty awesome ones there I didn’t get down I strongly suggest you read them. For those of you unfortunate should that don’t know who chuck Norris is I will give you a rough description. He is an American Martial artist competing with all the oriental martial artists profiting from the movie making business. He has many films among them are Breaker! Breaker! And Lone Wolf McGuire . I have not watched a single one of his films but came to be a fan of his by all the many jokes made about him and the many slightly ridiculous pictures of Chuck Norris shitless and holding big guns, as in machine guns not muscle ones though he is very muscular. He looks like the average coy boy slash martial artist but he has reached a whole new level of infamy than other martial artists and cowboys. People who don’t even know who he is make jokes about how tough he is. He even made a commercial once where these boys posted a embarrassing picture of him online, Chuck Norris found them and beat them up. I don’t even remember what the commercial was for. My sister is the one who got me into Chuck Norris Her and her friends even had a Chuck Norris Party where they watched all his films back to back and created Chuck Norris puns. That is about all I have to say about Chuck Norris.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html

Ashely Stubbs

For no reason in particular I typed in "Ashley" into google and clicked on I'm feeling lucky, It came up with Ashley furniture store,now normally if I was going to follow my new topic I would write about Ashley furniture store but unfortunately My teacher who's name I cant reveal to you for privacy reasons frown upon us advertising companies in our blogs and I am not all that interested in furniture so I'll move on. I then typed in "stubbs" again for no particular reason, it's not like that name has any significance to me, and came up with Stubbs Island Whale Watching. I found this ironic because when my family went to Hawaii my father lets call him Girk Blubbs stood outside on the balcony overlooking the water for hours trying to spot a whale. Sadly he never saw one and was only brought to believe he would by a very misleading diary left by the former occupants of the room saying they saw whales regularly. Obviosly they were liars and my father was gulliable. My mother Lina Klubs which sounds like a fake name if I've ever heard one, has a whale fetish we have a ton of kiler whale stautes scattered about the house. I will no give you the link for Ashley furniture store and stubbs whale watching. I'm really mad at my mom right now so my next entry will be about why she is such a jerk.
http://www.ashleyfurniture.com/
http://www.stubbs-island.com/

Bleh!

I technically should be starting my new blog theme this entry seeing as I just posted one explaining the topic change but to tell the truth I am too lazy. I only have around a hundred and fifty words left and I just don’t feel like starting a whole new blog theme right now. I did exactly what everyone told me not to and saved all my homework for the last day. With the new trimester I have new freedom, I have two classes do not require to do your home work by the next day, you have the entire week to do the home work and it’s all due the next week. I had two friends and the teacher repeatedly warn me just because you don’t have to do it right away you should anyway and I decided I would learn the hard way.

The New Topic

So I guess now that I have my license the quest is basically over, do I may have to consider a title change. Then Again I am generally a lazy person and I really don’t feel like taking all the trouble of brainstorming new name ideas, changing the name, I already have to change the theme. Besides everyone who actually reads this will find my blog much easier to locate if I don’t switch my name suddenly. There is also a new policy that we must contain a link, picture or a video in every blog. There are very few videos, pictures or links that can be related to my topic of choice. My new topic isn’t going to be set in stone, it will be switching almost every entry. I will type in random names into Google and click the I’m feeling lucky button, a random article will pop up which I will write about whatever comes up for the name, sometimes you get something really random so it should be interesting. Every once in awhile if something exciting happens I may break away from my topic to go on about all my fantastic adventures. I will most likely still pop out funny driving story every once in awhile. I will enclose a link to a random picture of a sloth which I find to be the absolute best animal on the face of this earth. http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://img410.imageshack.us/img410/3673/sloth3pr7.jpg&imgrefurl=http://jhorna.wordpress.com/2006/09/08/sloths-rock/&usg=__RX06PcVQR22L2XXA93I44_Zw_Z4=&h=625&w=500&sz=56&hl=en&start=1&tbnid=vUSNjTLqrOWvxM:&tbnh=136&tbnw=109&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsloths%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den

At

I am truly sorry to all my devoted readers who I have kept in utter suspense these past two weeks. I have finally achieved my goal! I am now the proud owner of a intermediate license. Technically I am old enough to get my full one but since it took me so long I have to drive with a restricted one for a full year. But right now I’m just so happy to be able to drive by myself that I really couldn’t care less about the restriction. Now since I got all that off my chest I will now tell you all about the actual drive. My seventh and final drive began more negatively than my other drives. It started when one of my friends told me she thought I would never get my license or at least not any time soon, the day before I test drove. When I actually arrived at the desk I was greeted by DOT lady number two or three that I had drove with two times and who failed me in the parking lot twice. When I handed her my papers that she herself had signed twice she recognized me immediately, this is how our conversation went:
Her: “I’ve driven with you before haven’t I?”
Me: “yep, twice.”
Her: “failed in the parking lot right?”
Me: “Uh, yeah but I’ve made it out of the parking lot twice now.”
Her: “Well, good for you! Good luck!”
After my number was called we tried to go to the library which didn’t open for another half hour so I had to hang out at the half price book store until it was time to go back. I had to repeat DOT ladies again for the drive and she too recognized me right away; we had another nice conversation on how Ashley failed in the parking lot. I won’t bother to explain every little detail of the drive I already have many other entries doing that and it would seem slightly redundant. Sometime in the drive I’m not actually sure when I just gave up. At one point I actually said “that was a fail”. When we were back in the parking lot she took forever to add up all my points even though I was positive I had already failed while I moped in my corner of the car. When she finally finished she informed me that she hadn’t failed me yet when I said that was a fail and I shouldn’t have given up on my drive so easily. She then gave me my point total which meant nothing to me because I wasn’t listening at the beginning when she told me how many points I needed, when she told me I passed I didn’t believe her right away, I had to ask her three times if she was serious. If I had missed one more point I would have failed again. I practically skipped back to the building where I was asked to sign a bunch of papers to be an organ donor. As I was signing up to give away all my organs one of the DOT ladies I had driven with before gave me a thumbs up and while I was going to get my picture another one said congratulations while the lady at the check in table that had wished me good luck earlier gave me a thumbs up too. I ended up taking a decent picture and going to Mc Donald’s to celebrate. I even got to drive to work later that day, except that halfway through my work shift my parents realized that I wasn’t on our insurance yet so they both had to come pick me up so one could drive home their vehicle and the other could drive me home. Since then I have driven to work seven times and counting.

I Remain Undefeated!

So I’m going to sort of rush through this, I have to write an annotated bibliography after this and bibliographies happen to be the thing I fear most. I always save the bibliographies to the last possible day and then struggle endlessly to produce at best a faulty bibliography. Those were just normal bibliographies I’m told that annotated bibliographies are much harder. I plan on test driving next Saturday and am almost positive that it will be the last time. I came so close last time if I just move my head a little more when crossing intersections and if I can repeat everything I did last time I will definitely pass. And will be back next week with some positive news to blog about and will end whole quest for a license theme with much relief. And if I don’t pass and have to keep up this boring blog I give everyone full permission to laugh at me, chances are I will probably be laughing too.

The Importance of Public Television

you have all already read about my failure at the Drivers station that I was able to describe for you in approximately seven hundred words and have a total five hundred left to split between two blogs. I have no new material that directly relates directly to my selected topic of driving or more specifically my driver’s license which is currently nonexistent. Due to all this I will simply choose to lament on whatever comes into my mind first which happens to be my channel selection because I am currently watching TV. I will swallow my pride and admit that I am currently watching rescue heroes and have been known to watch IPTV and have all the theme songs memorized. I know this sounds sad and in reality it is very sad of a teenager but in reality the shows aren’t that bad. The reason I watch them is simply because we don’t have cable dish or anything at my house. We receive very few channels and IPTV and qubo/ion are some of the only channels we receive. But it’s not all bad we do get ABC and some other channels allowing me to still enjoy shows like Grey’s Anatomy (that stopped being good as soon as they fired Burke) Glee and NCIS. I have learned the difference between hard and soft c and g and what a limerick is. I have learned the definitions to peculiar on Martha Speaks and what suspicious means on Word girl. I’d say it’s all been worth it for these valuable lessons.

The Bitter Defeat

I will tell you straight out that I didn’t pass. I came closer than ever before to passing which doesn’t take much seeing as I had never before made it out of the parking lot. But being so close to my goal and falling short by so little was so frustrating I’d say that this drive discouraged me more than all my four other ones combined. If I had managed to hide my damaged ego and wounded feeling from rejection all the times before it was a real trial to hide them this time. I am ashamed to say that I may have let a few tears of bitterness and rejection escape but I was not so pitiful to have done so in the presence of the DOT lady. Who by the way was a brand new one that I had never driven with before my selection of fresh DOT ladies who have not yet failed me grows slimmer by one. I admit there was a brief period of time between the walk of shame and the long ride home that I had secretly given up on my noble quest for a license and was wallowing in self pity until my father took me to Mc Donald’s and bought me a number three breakfast meal. On the way home I made my dad drive cause there was no way you were getting me behind that wheel again so soon after I was still all raw from my recent failure. The drive began more prospectively than any of my others before. We arrived there at eight just in time to see my pastor and his daughter walking out. This was a symbol god giving me his blessing on my drive. Of course I didn’t really think that I was too busy trying to make sure he didn’t notice me. But it was an effective space waster. The line waiting to receive their numbers was exceptionally small compared to how long it usually is on a Saturday morning. We managed to get my number in no time and it was actually called in a little under half an hour. This was turning out to be a record for the shortest wait ever at the Drivers Station. My test drive was scheduled for a half hour a great alternative to the usual hour to two hour wait. I blundered a little on my checks for the car but recovered nicely and exited the parking lot that had, had me stumped for far too long. I never once sped or cut anyone off; I did all my correct stops and didn’t cut any turns short. I used my turn signal correctly and never once did anything that would be considered violating any traffic law. I maintained this level of performance throughout the course of the entire drive and never slipped up. So you’re probably wondering why she failed me if I did everything so perfectly. The reason for my failure was because I didn’t look around enough at the intersections. This is just plain stupid because no one was ever coming and I always had a green light or the right of way whenever crossing an intersection. And before you go thinking I crossed intersections blindly putting naïve trust that everyone else would simply give me the right of way that I deserved, I didn’t. I used my peripheral vision which marching band has honed to perfection. Well apparently the DOT lady couldn’t notice the movement of my eyes without the movement of my head and failed me. You may still think this is a somewhat major offence but let me assure you a blind man could tell that all the intersections were empty and it was safe to pass. And this was the tiniest of tiniest sections of the whole drive which I poned by the way. I am very angry right now. I can assure you I will definitely be back next Saturday to give those ladies hell. I want to see the sheer terror on everyone’s faces when they realize that I am now allowed unsupervised on the road!

I am such a bad person!

This will complete my three entries for the week and hopefully next time I write I will have a license. I will admit that I got a cruel delight when my friend told me she couldn’t get her seventeen year old license for a couple more months because that’s when first got her sixteen year old license. She was super excited all day to get her full license and I secretly was harboring and building up all this jealously and contempt. It was a very rewarding feeling, hearing her say she couldn’t get it. This obviously makes me a bad person and I feel very guilty for my ill wishing of friends.

The fourth attempt

My fourth attempt at my license was basically a repeat of my third all over again. I started by trying to hold a casual conversation with her on the way to the car. A friend of mine who had to test drive and passed on the first time said that was the way to do it. My drive began more smoothly than my other three our friendly chat on the way to the car had left a good impression of myself on the driving lady. Also with another stroke of luck I had gotten what seemed to be the second to last DOT lady who hadn’t had the pleasure of test driving with me yet. I had waited the usual amount of time in line and in the hard plastic chairs and was thinking I had a decent chance of leaving with a license that day. I had completely given up on trying to get my license in fewer tries than my sister and was figuring I had nothing to lose. I successfully maneuvered past the crosswalk and stopped at the stop sign checked left then right and proceeded to the white line and stopped again and checked left and right again and was about to make it out of that cursed parking lot. I never made it that far though as soon as I pulled out the DOT lady screamed STOP! Applied her emergency brake and gave me an evil eye. I returned he gaze with a big cheesy smile oozing charm, sadly she remained unaffected by my charm. She held the vowels out in my name when she said it you know like how grownups do when they want you to do something you don’t want in that fake coaxing voice or they’re going to tell you the inevitable that doesn’t bode well for you; it was like “Ashleeeey”. I was like “Yeeesss” in that same coaxing voice willing her to pass me anyway. Instead she told me to pull into the loser’s parking lot across the street that I had grown pretty accustomed to and head back. On the way back I asked her If I had the record for the most consecutive failures in the parking lot and she said not by far, that made me feel better. We were less talkative walk back into the building. I never talk to others while doing the walk of shame it just spoils the mood. I pasted on one of my grins before entering the buildings one that said so what if I just failed I’m not going to act like a failure. Everyone was nice and joked with me and of course I didn’t mind everyone was just like “that Ashley did it again”. Graig my neighbor (again his actual name is not Graig) offered his son’s driving services to drive me to the DOT every Saturday and I said I would take him up on that. The joke in that is that His son is only in Middle school and I will still be test-driving by the time he gets his license. I often have to remind Graig that an experienced driver can take good care of his car for years but an inexperienced driver can wreck it in seconds, and I could possibly be that inexperienced driver.

Dear Bailee

I once again left my blog to the last possible second along with all the rest of my homework. To make everything more hectic I also have a piano lesson today to make up for the lesson I missed last week and the one I’m going to miss tomorrow. So this may sound a little rushed. I left off at my third attempt so I should begin writing about my fourth and final attempt so far. I’m going in next Saturday to test drive and gain more writing material. I was just informed the other day that all my hard work and effort isn’t going completely ignored and my blog is actually being read. I’d like to apologize to my sole reader (I also apologize if on the off chance I do have more than one reader and I didn’t acknowledge you) for all my pointless blogging and spelling/grammatical errors I never bothered to correct because I thought no one read my blog. Even though I apologize now I must admit I have no intention of correcting my mistakes in the future. All the pointless blogging helps me fill up unwanted space and I would be hard pressed to actually come up with relevant material to take its place and all the spelling and grammatical issues I am simply too lazy to fix. If spell cheek doesn’t get it then chances are I won’t either, who am I to be smarter than a machine? I must simply ask my reader to bear with me and try to interpret the meaning of my words through the many errors. Now that I’m done with all me apologizing I would like to thank my reader for being a true friend and bothering to read my rubbish! Yes I did just say rubbish and I am not British so this is a big no, no for me. I will not divulge my readers name but I will put into my super secret special code. You’ll remember this from when I switched Mr. Tilden’s and Dory’s real names. Bailee I would like to thank you for being my fan! You know who you are. Note to any other potential readers if you know a Bailee it is not her I’m talking about because Bailee is not her real name.

The 3rd attenpt

The third time I went in I was ready to settle. I had really wanted to get it before my third try but obviously that wasn’t going to happen so I was ready to get my license on my third try. There were a number of doubts in my head by this time of my capability to pass but I just pushed them out and waited in a long line that stretched out the door to have my confidence ripped in two. Of course I over dramatize but it was still pretty bad. After I got to the desk I handed the lady my paper that already had two signatures from my past two failed attempts, the lady quickly looked over it without a doubt already forming judgments in her head concerning my driving ability. I was given my number waited a while until my number was called received a test driving time and then went to half price books with my dad. Of course there’s only a certain amount of time you can spend in a book store so when we left the store and found there was still ample time we frequented the library where we spent the remainder of our time before we were expected back. When we returned I had to wait a half hour before being called to drive. I was carefully watching all the DOT ladies trying to discover which one I would have to drive with. I was paying special attention to the one I had had before. Unfortunately things were looking pretty bad If things kept up the same I would have to drive with DOT lady number one again. DOT number one called my name a little after my driving time was scheduled and we proceeded to the car. I passed all the car checks stopped at the crosswalk, and the stop sign went forward to the white line stopped again and went on to cut someone off. This is where my mother says I was stupid. As soon as I had made it on to the street I said “You just failed me there, right?” She confirmed my suspicion and gave me instructions on how to get back to the license station seeing as we had already passed the parking lot across the street. We made it back to the station and by the time we made it back I was over all my indignities and had simply given up caring how long it took me to get my license it’s going to happen eventually. Apparently though you’re not supposed to ask the ladies if they failed you or not. I don’t get this because I would have been failed any way so why not save myself a drive. On the way back I went my average speed which is slightly above the speed limit and wasn’t extra careful of the silly things you worry about when test driving. I mean why not? She can’t fail me twice in one drive.

The 2nd attempt

The second time was two Saturday after the first attempt. I had went in the Saturday directly after the first attempt but after waiting and hour to be called I was informed that the only driving time they had available was the exact same time I had to work. I had to decline. So technically the third time I went in and the second test drive I did I was still painfully optimistic. I was still determined that I was going to beat my sisters record and pass this time (she passed on her third time). I was happy I hadn't been given the same DOT lady as before, and this one was slightly less intimidating rocking a grandma perm. I had to wait approximately a half hour in line, an hour and a half to be called and given a time slot and told to come back in an hour. My father and I chilled in the library for and hour before coming back to wait fifteen minutes to actually drive. I went through all the necessary checks and passed with flying colors reversed out of my parking space smoothly and made sure to stop completely at the stop light that had failed me last time. I even made sure to jerk the DOT's head a little on my stops so they would know without a doubt that I had come to a complete stop. I made it to the stop sign that leads outside the parking lot. There was currently a car stopped at the stop sign so I stopped behind the car and when the car ahead made the turn I went forward to the stop sign made a stop complete with a little head jerk to let her know the car was no longer in motion. I checked left then right then left again and turned onto the street. I was feeling confident and was going to leave with a license today unfortunately almost as soon as I had hit the street she said in a not so sensitive tone "yeah, I just failed you right there" She then told me to pull into the parking lot across the street, turn around and head back to the drivers license station. In the parking lot the Lady tried to have a heart to heart with me which I was absolutely not about to do. She explained why I failed and tried to elaborate. Apparently I stopped at the stop sign but was supposed to go forward to white line after the stop sign and stop again and then complete the turn. I argued my point which was stupid of me but I was pretty annoyed. She was all like"Do you understand" and I was just like "yeah yeah lets go back. I purposely said it in a tone that gave the appearance that I didn't really understand though and just wanted to move on. She then tried to stop and make sure I had it she even suggested explaining it to my dad to explain to me. But I vetoed it and said in a nice tone that I would find out and lets just get back. By saying this on the surface it gives off the appearance that I am a hard worker and willing to find out by myself but in reality I was just denying her help. I did this and at every possible chance shot the DOT laddie a dirty glare which I don't think she even noticed. I took the embarrasing walk of shame back into the building from where I had parked to collect my father and go. I laughed it off told my dad the results as if they were a joke and proceeded to immediatly blame the DOT people for my failure and of course I was totaly and completely blameless of the entire ordeal. It was all just a cruel joke on me, the whole License station teaming up against me. Of course I knew that I was actually at fault but you can never admit it.

The 1st attempt

The very first time I went to test drive I was very optimistic. My sister who had to test drive before me had to take the test two times before passing on her third try and I was determined to beat her and pass the first try. I kept up this foolish thinking during the long wait in line then in the hours wait in the uncomfortable blue seats and throughout the entire course of the actual drive. I was never informed of my failure until the very end. The sadistic DOT lady that was the first of many to break my spirit had me complete the entire route all the while thinking that I was doing good and was going to proudly walk out of the station that day holding my driver’s license and of course in my mind I had taken a fabulous picture too. After I had finished the route and was done parking I was told that I had not passed, I was not immediately discouraged and politely asked how close I had come to passing or what score I had received. I was pretty confident that I had come close because I did not see her write down much throughout the course of the drive. She then told me that I didn’t actually have a score and she had failed me in the parking lot before she even had a chance to begin to think about grading me. This would probably be the reason why I didn’t see her comment much on her sheet about my driving. Good thing I am used to failure though because I was able to quickly shake it off and laugh at my own incompetence which was a good thing because everyone else was too. The reason for my failure was that I didn’t come to a full stop at the cross walk. I slowed down to a very slow crawl before turning right but there was a cross walk not visible to me from my angle directly to the right that I was supposed to completely stop at.

The ever Daunting DOT

So I guess I should get started on my drives with the DOT. This marks the beginning of the end for my blog. I should be able to sum up all my drives with the DOT in two to three entries tops or at least all my current up to date drives it is still an ongoing procedure. I have not attempted another drive with the DOT recently, I usually get up at around seven am on Saturdays to be able to get a driving slot but ever since marching band has started I either have work or a competition every Saturday. Marching season is over very shortly so the DOT ladies can start looking forward to my weekly visits again. I have frequented the driver’s license station a total of six times, and tested four times. Of the four times I have never once made it out of the parking lot. This is the part of my blog when it might be beneficial to others who by whatever unfortunate circumstance have to drive with the DOT to listen and learn. Some skeptics are probably dead set against the idea of learning any aspect even remotely related to driving from me. But I will have you know that you can really listen and learn from my abundant failures and believe me there will most likely be more to come. There is no limit to how many times you can take the test but every time you take it and fail the test driver has to sign your sheet my sheet has exactly four signatures on it two of the from the same lady. That’s another thing there are no DOT men there are only women usually slightly too old to be considered middle aged but still too young to be considered senior citizens all sporting short hairdos usually in the ever popular grandma perm. But enough dishing about the DOT ladies I left off somewhere around there being no limit to how many time you have to take the test. Though there is no limit I have given myself one anyway if it takes me more than ten times to pass I am going to have to start looking for other drivers license stations I can test at. It will get to be very problematic for me if I have to drive with the same person too many times , I don’t want any of the ladies getting too familiar with me. I have already had to drive with the same lady once and she remembered me. Any way now since you all know where I stand on the license issue I will start blogging about my actual DOT drives next blog.

The perfect car!

I was told that I had to start being more creative with my blog and adding images. This is the perfect time to tell you about my dream car. I will get this out of the way before I begin writting about all my DOT attempts. As you have probably guessed by now the jeep to the left is my dream car. Well I lied I don't want this specific jeep but it is the closest i could find to my dream car. I am very picky about how my car should look. First of all I want a jeep, maybe a slightly older model than this one, and I want it to be yellow. not that pretty yellow used in baby's rooms but a grungy yellow that no one would want to paint their walls with. The shade doesn't have to be exact though because I'm planning on it being so rusty and dirty you can only see splotches of color here and there. Of course I would need a cover to put on it when it got colder but in general I don't want it to have doors just roll bars. Make no mistake this is not going to be a smooth ride either, I want it to run just as good as it's outward appearance. Of course I don't want it to beak down on me just be a bumpy ride in need of the occasional tune up to keep it going. You can't buy them the way I want them so I would like it to buy it used and hopefully foe cheap! You may think I am making this up, why would anyone want a car like the one I just described? But then you would be mistaken this has been my dream car for a couple years now and if you knew who I was you could ask any of my friends or family. The reasons behind my odd tastes is I want something that I will love and value that no one else could possibly see why or hold as dearly as I do. I also would feel very ostentatious and spoiled if I ever drove around in a brand new car. Driving around in a new expensive car would tend to make me very paranoid. I would think that everyone who so much as glances at me is judging me for owning a fancy vehicle. Besides in my eyes even the shiniest convertible could never hold a candle to my jeep. When I say My jeep I mean my dream jeep I currently own no vehicle or a license to drive one.

Sorry wasting blog space again

I Have just been allowed back downstairs and am starting what will become a very late night of homework. I shouldn’t be complaining though because it is really all my fault. Also I am not picking the most effective method of studying seeing as I am also watching TV and trying to read something on the internet the same time I’m supposed to be doing home work. Therefore due to my many distractions you can understand how I may find it hard to concentrate of get off topic. I just need to write around sixty more words so pleas bear with me. I know that it is kind of stupid to write a blog when you have nothing to write about but you already know all about the regulations that I must maintain. I am really counting on the fact that no one actually pays attention to my blog otherwise I may risk losing some of the few followers I have.

The blog after the main blog

I just wrote an extremely lengthy paper talking about my final drive and I have used up all my creativity and writing power. This probably has something to do with the fact that I didn’t properly portion out my time this week and I have to do this along with a butt load of other homework I’m supposed to already have done all on Sunday. But the whole point of this is that I do not blame you if you just look at the intimidating length of my previous blog and skip on to the next one I would do the same thing if this were not my own blog. I am not very concerned seeing as the only readers of my blog are my teacher and a select few friends who I have a strong suspicion don’t actually read it but are my followers none the less to support me in my writing endeavors, my friends are the best! I have a little fewer than three hundred words until I fill my quota for this week so I will fill it up with meaningless chatter and hope no one reads my next two entries. On a side not I am about to be kicked out of the basement by my mother who obviously has more right to it then me because she bought the house so I am going to cut this off here because the only computer is downstairs.

Now we’re back to the final drive. I’ve already told you all about the practice for the final drive and am now onto the actual final drive. If you have read any of my earlier entries you would already know that I received a negative four on this drive and am now stuck driving with the DOT. Just a quick recap for my neglectful readers who have forgotten (or not read any of my blogs prior to this), I was driver two driving the second portion of a planned route that you were required to memorize and execute that began with parallel parking and ended back at Kennedy. Points were deducted in increments of five and you were not allowed to ask for help. By now I’m sure everyone has created a not so flattering opinion of my capabilities as a driver so you all hear the words parallel park and are all probably expecting some comical story of a disastrous blunder made attempting to parallel park. For those of you that fall into this category I pleased to say I must disappoint you. I did perfectly average on my parking job. An over achiever the word average is unacceptable but if you are like me you learn to accept you insufficiencies and accept a C as opposed to a lesser grade. Now that were back on topic we’ll pick up after my semi successful parallel parking. I began my route smoothly I hit all my turns obeyed the traffic laws and was beginning to calm down slightly (from psyching myself out before the drive) when I accidently missed my turnoff. I automatically got five points deducted right then but even worse than that I immediately began freaking out and over analyzing everything. Once I was off course became severely disoriented and couldn’t think clearly. Mr. Tilden had to give me step by step directions to get back on course which deducted an additional five points leaving me with only five left making it an automatic fail and a obligated drive with the DOT. But on with the story Mr. Tilden was guiding me to an exit that would bring me back on course which I promptly missed and had to be given extra instructions to the next nearest point where I could get back on track. Back where I was supposed to be I was stopped about to turn left at a light that required me to drive over a cross walk which is perfectly acceptable given there is no one crossing at the time. Unfortunately for me there was someone crossing at the time and even worse luck they were and idiot. It is here that I almost committed murder and that idiot I didn’t run over should thank there lucky stars the Mr. Tilden has an emergency brake on his side. Here’s how it happened, I was half way through my turn when the person started crossing (I’m going to say it was a guy for simplicities sake.) So I stop to let him go. Seeing me stop he quickly steps back onto the curb to let me go. I think this is nice of him and begin to slowly finish my turn. Then the stupid pedestrian decides that he doesn’t want to wait for me to finish the turn and starts crossing. I immediately stop but as soon as I stop so does he and he steps back towards the curb not completely on it. Other cars are starting to get frustrated with us so I take a chance and decide he want me to pass. This time I start going quicker to just get my turn done with but it seems the pedestrian was thinking the same thing. We both start moving at the same time at a faster speed. This would’ve been very bad if Mr. Tilden hadn’t slammed on his emergency brake just then I don’t like to think what would’ve happened. To quote Mr. Tilden his exact word were “What were you thinking Ashley?!Could you not see the person?!!”. The way this is written out it sounds like this was a time consuming exchange but in reality that entire ordeal was in less than three minutes. From here I try to salvage what is left of my drive and manage to get back to Kennedy only getting off course one more time. If you read all this and actually bother to add up all my points or rather deductions seeing as I had no points left you would see that Mr. Tilden was a very gracious grader.

Which one is the Brake?

I’m going to take a one blog break from my final drive because I only have approximately three hundred words left to use and I want to save the final, final drive for next week. This will be a accumulation of driving mistakes I have experienced, as many as it takes to fill three hundred word worth. The first one is when my dad and I got lost attempting the school drive route Dory had emailed me the night before. He wanted me to pull up against the curb behind a parked car so he could look at a map. I still don’t know how this happened but I somehow suddenly forgot what pedal was the gas and what on was the brake. I accidently pressed the gas instead and immediately switched pedals when the car lurched forward. But me being rather stupid switched pedals again. I was having difficulties determining what pedal did what I was switching between the two so quickly my brain couldn't keep up. It must have looked really weird to someone outside seeing us lurch forward and slam back getting closer and closer to the parked car ahead. By the time I actually remembered what pedal did what I had to slam the brake down so hard it threw us back into the street, much to the surprise to the driver passing us at the time. We avoided an accident but I got honked at again. In the end I think I was actually partially touching the parked cars bumper. That was a close one! My second one is yet another braking issue. I was stopped at a stop sign and it wasn’t like I wasn’t paying attention or anything because I looked both ways I guess I just didn’t notice the huge truck I should’ve waited for. So I pull out and am racking up speed when I notice the truck that is honking at me. I do some quick calculation and decide that my best bet of avoiding an accident are to speed up and get out of the way rather than stop and be hit. This was a poor decision on my part because I had just sped up when I realized I wasn’t going to make it. I immediately punched down my brakes and the truck sped up just barely saving his nice paintjob. I got to hear a few choice words yelled by him as he passed us and I could swear he was shaking on fist.

Practice makes Perfect

Mr. Tilden recommended running through your route around four times to make sure you got it memorized. I ended up running it roughly eight times not including all the times I got so horribly lost or missed an important exit, and we ended up giving up halfway through and starting over (this happened rather frequently). I’ll attempt to give you a description of the route. It was full of multiple lane changes within one block before you had another multiple lane change to go the opposite direction. There was one tricky part where I goofed up a lot especially when it got dark out and it got harder to see the lines. I was supposed to turn left at an intersection onto a four-lane street. Two of the four lanes went in the opposite direction of my desired direction and the third was a turning land turning left. The fourth one was the one I wanted and it was also the farthest away and the smallest. Basically it was really bad to accidently end up in any of the other lanes. So naturally that is exactly what I did. I accidently turned into the turning lane that was turning directly into me, that was to the immediate left of my desired lane. This was a bad thing. I could see the car headed for me so I freaked out and veered the car into the lanes farther left. Those lanes happened to be the two that were going in the opposite direction of mine or in other words zooming straight towards me. I had to then pull the car out of the dangerous oncoming traffic (which were by now making good use of their horns) and into the dangerous turning lane and then into my proper place where my dad had us stop at the nearest stopping point and calm down. We then started from the beginning again and I proceeded to make the exact same mistake again. My dad wasn’t so understanding the second time. Even though it was all my fault I must also commend myself for remaining cool headed the whole time. If I had just frozen or freaked out and not have reacted so quickly we probably would have caused a major traffic accident. I am happy to report though, that I have never made that same mistake again. I have thoroughly learned my lesson.

The Final Drive Begins!

The final drive is just what it sounds like. It is the last drive you take in Driver’s Ed and it determines whether you have to drive with the DOT when you get your license. If you take Driver’s Ed through Kennedy Mr. Tilden requires you to memorize the entire route you will be driving while obeying all the traffic laws and parallel parking. The final drive is worth fifteen points and it is completely possible to go into the negatives. If you get off course, violate any law or have to ask for any help from Mr. Tilden he automatically deducts five points. To document the whole drive and events leading up to it (such as practicing for it) will take up a lot of blog space. I will begin with all the practice runs with my dad trying to memorize the route and then work up to the actual final drive. I will tell you what I got on the final drive now so you don’t have to remain in suspense. I was one of the unlucky few who actually managed to get a negative score (maybe the only one in the class), negative four to be exact. In my defense the route was really hard and some pedestrians shouldn’t be allowed to walk the street. In my next blogs I will write about how I single handedly endangered the lives of my dad and I not once but multiple times.

Code Names

I have just been informed that I was not supposed to reveal the name of my teacher and friends, so from now on I will be using code names. Mr. Wilden will be referred to as Mr. Tilden and Tory will be known as Dory. If I accidentally slip up and use their actual names please forgive me, I am used to calling my friends and teachers by their appropriate titles. So in case I confused you by the sudden switch in names (for security purposes) I will use them in a sentence. Mr. Tilden was my Drivers Ed teacher that you should all feel sorry for, and Dory is my superb Driver’s Ed partner that single handedly, with little to no help from me got us both through that class. Thanks Dory! Regretfully since I have never once mentioned my name in this blog and made this blog under a fake name I have no need of a codename. This is very unfortunate because codenames make me feel like an ultra cool secret spy! I have now protected Mr. Tilden and Dory’s identity (which wouldn’t have been in any danger if I hadn’t endangered it in the first place) and replaced them with super secret codenames that I’m sure no one will figure out. So please don’t even attempt to for multiple reasons.

What a Waste of a Blog!

I mentioned in my introduction that I have minimum amount of words I am required to write each week. Well I have just written two very long blogs that just about cover the minimum amount. But I am required to fit all my words into three blogs and as of now I would have only had two so this one will be a very short one, about nothing in particular. This has been my very short unimportant blog of exactly eighty-two words.

The Make-Up Session

I took Drivers Ed during winter term. One day there was an early dismissal due to bad weather conditions. This happened to fall on a test day. On test days all you have to do is come in and take the test and leave when you’re done. You usually end up leaving twenty minutes to a half hour early. However as we were leaving early due to bad weather, I thought that seventh hour would be canceled too. I mean the announcements said leave as soon as possible. Well it turns out Mr. Wilden was still holding class and around half the class who thought the same as me were missing. Not only did I now have to make up a test, I also had to make up an entire class period. Whereas if I had not missed the class I would have only had to stay half an hour. Being caught up in the injustice of it all made up my test in under half an hour, and immediately forgot about the hour of class time I had to make up. This approach did not serve me well, because towards the end of the trimester when all the makeup Drivers Ed courses at Kennedy were long over, I was still missing an hour of class time I needed to pass. Linn Mar was the only high school still offering makeup Driver's Ed Courses. I had to get my parents to drive me all the way out to Linn Mar to make up my missing hour. But apparently Linn Mar hadn’t been notified that they were still giving makeup courses because when I arrived there I was greeted by a confused janitor who said all the teachers had already left. While I was chilling with the janitorial staff I was joined by another slacker who had missed a Driver’s Ed class for whatever reason. We both started following the janitor around as he checked all the rooms where the class should have been held. We were joined by yet another student here for the same purpose. Seeing the growing number of us, the janitor was convinced that we weren’t all just mistaken on the time and location, but there was actually a class planned. The janitor checked a schedule that confirmed there was indeed a class scheduled to be taking place. He had to call the Driver’s Ed teacher at his home to come back to school to complete the rest of our hour which was already half over. We were then ushered to a room where we were to work on homework supervised by the janitor until the teacher arrived. The teacher apologized upon arrival and proceeded to show us a video on the value of giving away all your vital organs. A few notes at the end: the janito we hung out with was really nice, and i appreciate his help. And there is also nothing wrong with being a organ donor. When I get my license I fully intend to be one.

Fun on the Interstate

I will now recall some of my fond Interstate memories. I am positive Mr. Wilden and Tory look back on them as fondly as I do. My first time ever to drive on interstate was with Mr. Wilden in the front seat and Tory in the back seat. We were working on merging. As fate would have it my first attempt of merging at high speeds would involve a semi. I had seen Tory do the procedure before me but mine didn’t go as smoothly. I pulled up slightly ahead of the semi, turned on my turn signal to merge and of course did my quick over the shoulder check. But my quick over the shoulder check was not as quick as I thought, and in the time it took to look behind me for cars, I had accidently started angling the car into the semi. This would probably still have turned into a successful merge seeing as I was ahead of the semi, but to add to all my problems, at the same time I had been accidently angling towards the semi, I was also accidently slowing down. (You can’t really blame me for this though, it was my first time on interstate and everyone generally agrees you find more safety in lower speeds. This does not seem to be the case on interstate.) By the time I finally got faced forward again I was looking straight at the oncoming side of a semi truck. This is where Mr. Wilden comes in to save the day! I can’t classify what noise he made as I was in a state of shock but it sounded like something garbled, not a scream but a cry of alarm. Mr. Wilden had to grab the wheel from me and yank us in the opposite direction. This threw us slightly into the other lane, but Mr. Wilden who still was in control of the wheel was able to quickly rectify the situation. By switching the direction of the wheel with the correct amount of force to put us back on course. With all the commotion I was almost able to ignore the honking semi next to me. I was then given back the steering wheel and forced to pick another victim to pass and merge into their lane. This time I was successful. When later conversing with Tory I was able to extract her side of the story. I was told of the impending horrors of watching our car come closer and closer to the semi and the driver seemingly unaware of the situation. Mr. Wilden may have made a brief unanimous joke on the matter the next day to the class. The second time on interstate with Mr. Wilden and Tory, I was convinced I was going to keep up with all the other cars so I wouldn’t have a repeat incedent of last time by slowing down. I don’t remember actually speeding up or when I stopped driving alongside the cars and passing them. I didn’t realize anything was wrong until Mr. Wilden casually says, I quote “This will make us a good speeding ticket Ashley” It was then that I checked my speed, which at this time was reading something slightly over eighty. And in case you didn’t know, the speed limit on interstate is seventy. I slowed down to a more acceptable speed, approved by Mr. Wilden. Once we got off the interstate Mr. Wilden said I was the first student he had ever had go over eighty. I’m so proud!

What a great friend!

I will now begin the Drivers Ed portion of my blog. For this part of my driving career I would like to give all the credit to my amazing driving buddy! She saved my grade and in exchange I endangered he life. It was a great deal on my part, but my partner got very few, if any benefits. If you haven’t guessed already, (which I can almost bet my life that you haven’t, seeing as I have not even in the least attempted to give you a general description of her)my partners name is Victoria. Victoria is an awesome driver. I am ashamed to say that I was not above peeking at her driving scores and I can personally vouch for her flawless driving grade. This is very impressive compared to my five out of ten driving average, maybe seven points on a good day. Tory saved my butt on our school drive, she did all the work for me. The point of the school drive is you have a time limit to pass all the schools in the area you can. You get points for each one you drive by within the time limit. Halfway through you have to switch partners. Tory planned our entire route. I made some shallow attempt of a route, but we obviously went with Tory’s more superior route. (This may be the right time to mention that I am severely directionally challenged). In her route she planned for a driver 1 and a driver two. Driver one passed almost all of the schools, while driver two was left with plenty of spare time to get back to Kennedy and pass a total of two schools including Kennedy. I was driver two. With my simplified route, you would think that I wouldn’t have any troubles, but you would be mistaken. Pulling out of gas station where we changed drivers I was about to stop behind a car stopped at a light to start my route when another car pulled in behind the first car and in front of me, leaving me no room to straighten out. The problem here is that when the car pulled in front of me I was straddling the divider of a two way lane about to take my place on the right side of it. To make matters worse the cars ahead of me wouldn’t be moving to make room for me until the light turned green and this was turning out to be a very long light. So when I said I was straddling the divider I meant I was completely sideways (about to straighten out)blocking two lanes of traffic, and one of them had a green light and was heading straight at me. It was then that Mr. Wilden my Driver’s Ed teacher had me pull into the parking lot opposite of me to get out of traffic, forcing me to then reverse back out onto the same busy road. I had to use up all the extra time Tory had provided for me just waiting for a break in traffic long enough for me to get back onto the road. Needless to say without Tory’s help I would have failed Drivers Ed miserably. This whole story was just to prove what a selfless kindred soul Tory is. In my later entries I may fail to mention and give Tory quite as much credit as is due, because I am a very vain person and tend to only think of myself, especially when recalling memories. I am just making sure that even when I don’t say it, you all know that Tory plays a big part in my driving success.

The 1st drive

The first indication that I was unquestionably a very talented driver was my first time being in the driver's seat of a car. My mother had taken me to an empty parking lot right after receiving my permit on the second try. I put the car into drive and was very alarmed that it moved without me touching the gas. I screamed and took my hands off the wheel and wailed loudly that I didn't do anything. My mother had to take the wheel and explain that I was not at fault. I wondered why we even needed gas pedals and if I'd even need to use mine at all if the car moved so quickly on its own. I now have discovered a need for speed and have come to realize that what I experienced that first day was not fast at all. That was one of the last times my mother took me driving, for the rest of my driving career or at least until I achieve my official license my dad has to supervise my driving. My second time driving we had witnesses and they will never let me forget. I was reversing for the first time out of our driveway (that is very tricky) and one of the neighbors was out. It started out fine until my father failed to mention to me I had to turn the wheel. When I finally turned the wheel we were half on the driveway half on the grass. I turned the wheel the wrong direction and we ended up in the middle of our lawn. From there I backed up into our cold sac missing the driveway completely. While I was panicking my sister who was in the back noticed my neighbor go fetch his brother to watch the spectacle who the retrieved their father to watch the show. They arrived just in time to see the big finale. Once in the cold sac I was about to drive forward to reach the road, I pressed down hard on the gas pedal to make a quick escape. But I had failed to properly change gears and the direction of the wheel so I just ended up going in a full circle multiple times. While we were spinning around I again took my hands off the steering wheel and began to scream for my life. My sister joined me in my screaming while my dad tried to take control of the wheel. Of course I being the brilliant person I am, that in my panic had not let up on the gas but pressed down harder. So this was an amazing feat performed by my dad to be able to take control of the situation. When all was under control again you could hear all the neighbors laughing from a safe distance away.

Introduction

If you bothered to read the title of my blog you already have a general idea of what this blog is going to be about. But the title being rather vague doesn’t mention that it is in fact just a driver’s license that I’m aiming for. I will not bore you with all my successes and triumphs, no for this blog I will write solely of all my embarrassing and slightly traumatizing failures. Throughout this blog I would like you to keep in mind what I just mentioned and that every horrible mess up I write about I have like five brilliantly executed drives. This blog is for school and I have a word minimum I must hit every week, so when this eventually opens up to the public, if my blogs tend to get a little lengthy and boring, please don’t get mad. I’m going to begin with recalling all my driver’s Ed experiences that led up to me having to test drive and will then get to all my drives with the DOT. As I am writing this I have driven with the DOT four times and still in counting. One last disclaimer before I end this I am not a bad driver though what you will read will make you question that fact. May you benefit somehow form my tragic driving history.

Hey! This kind of a test blog, so not all my blogs to come will be this boring and meaningless. I promise you more interesting things to come!