Sunday, October 25, 2009

I am such a bad person!

This will complete my three entries for the week and hopefully next time I write I will have a license. I will admit that I got a cruel delight when my friend told me she couldn’t get her seventeen year old license for a couple more months because that’s when first got her sixteen year old license. She was super excited all day to get her full license and I secretly was harboring and building up all this jealously and contempt. It was a very rewarding feeling, hearing her say she couldn’t get it. This obviously makes me a bad person and I feel very guilty for my ill wishing of friends.

The fourth attempt

My fourth attempt at my license was basically a repeat of my third all over again. I started by trying to hold a casual conversation with her on the way to the car. A friend of mine who had to test drive and passed on the first time said that was the way to do it. My drive began more smoothly than my other three our friendly chat on the way to the car had left a good impression of myself on the driving lady. Also with another stroke of luck I had gotten what seemed to be the second to last DOT lady who hadn’t had the pleasure of test driving with me yet. I had waited the usual amount of time in line and in the hard plastic chairs and was thinking I had a decent chance of leaving with a license that day. I had completely given up on trying to get my license in fewer tries than my sister and was figuring I had nothing to lose. I successfully maneuvered past the crosswalk and stopped at the stop sign checked left then right and proceeded to the white line and stopped again and checked left and right again and was about to make it out of that cursed parking lot. I never made it that far though as soon as I pulled out the DOT lady screamed STOP! Applied her emergency brake and gave me an evil eye. I returned he gaze with a big cheesy smile oozing charm, sadly she remained unaffected by my charm. She held the vowels out in my name when she said it you know like how grownups do when they want you to do something you don’t want in that fake coaxing voice or they’re going to tell you the inevitable that doesn’t bode well for you; it was like “Ashleeeey”. I was like “Yeeesss” in that same coaxing voice willing her to pass me anyway. Instead she told me to pull into the loser’s parking lot across the street that I had grown pretty accustomed to and head back. On the way back I asked her If I had the record for the most consecutive failures in the parking lot and she said not by far, that made me feel better. We were less talkative walk back into the building. I never talk to others while doing the walk of shame it just spoils the mood. I pasted on one of my grins before entering the buildings one that said so what if I just failed I’m not going to act like a failure. Everyone was nice and joked with me and of course I didn’t mind everyone was just like “that Ashley did it again”. Graig my neighbor (again his actual name is not Graig) offered his son’s driving services to drive me to the DOT every Saturday and I said I would take him up on that. The joke in that is that His son is only in Middle school and I will still be test-driving by the time he gets his license. I often have to remind Graig that an experienced driver can take good care of his car for years but an inexperienced driver can wreck it in seconds, and I could possibly be that inexperienced driver.

Dear Bailee

I once again left my blog to the last possible second along with all the rest of my homework. To make everything more hectic I also have a piano lesson today to make up for the lesson I missed last week and the one I’m going to miss tomorrow. So this may sound a little rushed. I left off at my third attempt so I should begin writing about my fourth and final attempt so far. I’m going in next Saturday to test drive and gain more writing material. I was just informed the other day that all my hard work and effort isn’t going completely ignored and my blog is actually being read. I’d like to apologize to my sole reader (I also apologize if on the off chance I do have more than one reader and I didn’t acknowledge you) for all my pointless blogging and spelling/grammatical errors I never bothered to correct because I thought no one read my blog. Even though I apologize now I must admit I have no intention of correcting my mistakes in the future. All the pointless blogging helps me fill up unwanted space and I would be hard pressed to actually come up with relevant material to take its place and all the spelling and grammatical issues I am simply too lazy to fix. If spell cheek doesn’t get it then chances are I won’t either, who am I to be smarter than a machine? I must simply ask my reader to bear with me and try to interpret the meaning of my words through the many errors. Now that I’m done with all me apologizing I would like to thank my reader for being a true friend and bothering to read my rubbish! Yes I did just say rubbish and I am not British so this is a big no, no for me. I will not divulge my readers name but I will put into my super secret special code. You’ll remember this from when I switched Mr. Tilden’s and Dory’s real names. Bailee I would like to thank you for being my fan! You know who you are. Note to any other potential readers if you know a Bailee it is not her I’m talking about because Bailee is not her real name.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The 3rd attenpt

The third time I went in I was ready to settle. I had really wanted to get it before my third try but obviously that wasn’t going to happen so I was ready to get my license on my third try. There were a number of doubts in my head by this time of my capability to pass but I just pushed them out and waited in a long line that stretched out the door to have my confidence ripped in two. Of course I over dramatize but it was still pretty bad. After I got to the desk I handed the lady my paper that already had two signatures from my past two failed attempts, the lady quickly looked over it without a doubt already forming judgments in her head concerning my driving ability. I was given my number waited a while until my number was called received a test driving time and then went to half price books with my dad. Of course there’s only a certain amount of time you can spend in a book store so when we left the store and found there was still ample time we frequented the library where we spent the remainder of our time before we were expected back. When we returned I had to wait a half hour before being called to drive. I was carefully watching all the DOT ladies trying to discover which one I would have to drive with. I was paying special attention to the one I had had before. Unfortunately things were looking pretty bad If things kept up the same I would have to drive with DOT lady number one again. DOT number one called my name a little after my driving time was scheduled and we proceeded to the car. I passed all the car checks stopped at the crosswalk, and the stop sign went forward to the white line stopped again and went on to cut someone off. This is where my mother says I was stupid. As soon as I had made it on to the street I said “You just failed me there, right?” She confirmed my suspicion and gave me instructions on how to get back to the license station seeing as we had already passed the parking lot across the street. We made it back to the station and by the time we made it back I was over all my indignities and had simply given up caring how long it took me to get my license it’s going to happen eventually. Apparently though you’re not supposed to ask the ladies if they failed you or not. I don’t get this because I would have been failed any way so why not save myself a drive. On the way back I went my average speed which is slightly above the speed limit and wasn’t extra careful of the silly things you worry about when test driving. I mean why not? She can’t fail me twice in one drive.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The 2nd attempt

The second time was two Saturday after the first attempt. I had went in the Saturday directly after the first attempt but after waiting and hour to be called I was informed that the only driving time they had available was the exact same time I had to work. I had to decline. So technically the third time I went in and the second test drive I did I was still painfully optimistic. I was still determined that I was going to beat my sisters record and pass this time (she passed on her third time). I was happy I hadn't been given the same DOT lady as before, and this one was slightly less intimidating rocking a grandma perm. I had to wait approximately a half hour in line, an hour and a half to be called and given a time slot and told to come back in an hour. My father and I chilled in the library for and hour before coming back to wait fifteen minutes to actually drive. I went through all the necessary checks and passed with flying colors reversed out of my parking space smoothly and made sure to stop completely at the stop light that had failed me last time. I even made sure to jerk the DOT's head a little on my stops so they would know without a doubt that I had come to a complete stop. I made it to the stop sign that leads outside the parking lot. There was currently a car stopped at the stop sign so I stopped behind the car and when the car ahead made the turn I went forward to the stop sign made a stop complete with a little head jerk to let her know the car was no longer in motion. I checked left then right then left again and turned onto the street. I was feeling confident and was going to leave with a license today unfortunately almost as soon as I had hit the street she said in a not so sensitive tone "yeah, I just failed you right there" She then told me to pull into the parking lot across the street, turn around and head back to the drivers license station. In the parking lot the Lady tried to have a heart to heart with me which I was absolutely not about to do. She explained why I failed and tried to elaborate. Apparently I stopped at the stop sign but was supposed to go forward to white line after the stop sign and stop again and then complete the turn. I argued my point which was stupid of me but I was pretty annoyed. She was all like"Do you understand" and I was just like "yeah yeah lets go back. I purposely said it in a tone that gave the appearance that I didn't really understand though and just wanted to move on. She then tried to stop and make sure I had it she even suggested explaining it to my dad to explain to me. But I vetoed it and said in a nice tone that I would find out and lets just get back. By saying this on the surface it gives off the appearance that I am a hard worker and willing to find out by myself but in reality I was just denying her help. I did this and at every possible chance shot the DOT laddie a dirty glare which I don't think she even noticed. I took the embarrasing walk of shame back into the building from where I had parked to collect my father and go. I laughed it off told my dad the results as if they were a joke and proceeded to immediatly blame the DOT people for my failure and of course I was totaly and completely blameless of the entire ordeal. It was all just a cruel joke on me, the whole License station teaming up against me. Of course I knew that I was actually at fault but you can never admit it.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The 1st attempt

The very first time I went to test drive I was very optimistic. My sister who had to test drive before me had to take the test two times before passing on her third try and I was determined to beat her and pass the first try. I kept up this foolish thinking during the long wait in line then in the hours wait in the uncomfortable blue seats and throughout the entire course of the actual drive. I was never informed of my failure until the very end. The sadistic DOT lady that was the first of many to break my spirit had me complete the entire route all the while thinking that I was doing good and was going to proudly walk out of the station that day holding my driver’s license and of course in my mind I had taken a fabulous picture too. After I had finished the route and was done parking I was told that I had not passed, I was not immediately discouraged and politely asked how close I had come to passing or what score I had received. I was pretty confident that I had come close because I did not see her write down much throughout the course of the drive. She then told me that I didn’t actually have a score and she had failed me in the parking lot before she even had a chance to begin to think about grading me. This would probably be the reason why I didn’t see her comment much on her sheet about my driving. Good thing I am used to failure though because I was able to quickly shake it off and laugh at my own incompetence which was a good thing because everyone else was too. The reason for my failure was that I didn’t come to a full stop at the cross walk. I slowed down to a very slow crawl before turning right but there was a cross walk not visible to me from my angle directly to the right that I was supposed to completely stop at.

The ever Daunting DOT

So I guess I should get started on my drives with the DOT. This marks the beginning of the end for my blog. I should be able to sum up all my drives with the DOT in two to three entries tops or at least all my current up to date drives it is still an ongoing procedure. I have not attempted another drive with the DOT recently, I usually get up at around seven am on Saturdays to be able to get a driving slot but ever since marching band has started I either have work or a competition every Saturday. Marching season is over very shortly so the DOT ladies can start looking forward to my weekly visits again. I have frequented the driver’s license station a total of six times, and tested four times. Of the four times I have never once made it out of the parking lot. This is the part of my blog when it might be beneficial to others who by whatever unfortunate circumstance have to drive with the DOT to listen and learn. Some skeptics are probably dead set against the idea of learning any aspect even remotely related to driving from me. But I will have you know that you can really listen and learn from my abundant failures and believe me there will most likely be more to come. There is no limit to how many times you can take the test but every time you take it and fail the test driver has to sign your sheet my sheet has exactly four signatures on it two of the from the same lady. That’s another thing there are no DOT men there are only women usually slightly too old to be considered middle aged but still too young to be considered senior citizens all sporting short hairdos usually in the ever popular grandma perm. But enough dishing about the DOT ladies I left off somewhere around there being no limit to how many time you have to take the test. Though there is no limit I have given myself one anyway if it takes me more than ten times to pass I am going to have to start looking for other drivers license stations I can test at. It will get to be very problematic for me if I have to drive with the same person too many times , I don’t want any of the ladies getting too familiar with me. I have already had to drive with the same lady once and she remembered me. Any way now since you all know where I stand on the license issue I will start blogging about my actual DOT drives next blog.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The perfect car!

I was told that I had to start being more creative with my blog and adding images. This is the perfect time to tell you about my dream car. I will get this out of the way before I begin writting about all my DOT attempts. As you have probably guessed by now the jeep to the left is my dream car. Well I lied I don't want this specific jeep but it is the closest i could find to my dream car. I am very picky about how my car should look. First of all I want a jeep, maybe a slightly older model than this one, and I want it to be yellow. not that pretty yellow used in baby's rooms but a grungy yellow that no one would want to paint their walls with. The shade doesn't have to be exact though because I'm planning on it being so rusty and dirty you can only see splotches of color here and there. Of course I would need a cover to put on it when it got colder but in general I don't want it to have doors just roll bars. Make no mistake this is not going to be a smooth ride either, I want it to run just as good as it's outward appearance. Of course I don't want it to beak down on me just be a bumpy ride in need of the occasional tune up to keep it going. You can't buy them the way I want them so I would like it to buy it used and hopefully foe cheap! You may think I am making this up, why would anyone want a car like the one I just described? But then you would be mistaken this has been my dream car for a couple years now and if you knew who I was you could ask any of my friends or family. The reasons behind my odd tastes is I want something that I will love and value that no one else could possibly see why or hold as dearly as I do. I also would feel very ostentatious and spoiled if I ever drove around in a brand new car. Driving around in a new expensive car would tend to make me very paranoid. I would think that everyone who so much as glances at me is judging me for owning a fancy vehicle. Besides in my eyes even the shiniest convertible could never hold a candle to my jeep. When I say My jeep I mean my dream jeep I currently own no vehicle or a license to drive one.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sorry wasting blog space again

I Have just been allowed back downstairs and am starting what will become a very late night of homework. I shouldn’t be complaining though because it is really all my fault. Also I am not picking the most effective method of studying seeing as I am also watching TV and trying to read something on the internet the same time I’m supposed to be doing home work. Therefore due to my many distractions you can understand how I may find it hard to concentrate of get off topic. I just need to write around sixty more words so pleas bear with me. I know that it is kind of stupid to write a blog when you have nothing to write about but you already know all about the regulations that I must maintain. I am really counting on the fact that no one actually pays attention to my blog otherwise I may risk losing some of the few followers I have.

The blog after the main blog

I just wrote an extremely lengthy paper talking about my final drive and I have used up all my creativity and writing power. This probably has something to do with the fact that I didn’t properly portion out my time this week and I have to do this along with a butt load of other homework I’m supposed to already have done all on Sunday. But the whole point of this is that I do not blame you if you just look at the intimidating length of my previous blog and skip on to the next one I would do the same thing if this were not my own blog. I am not very concerned seeing as the only readers of my blog are my teacher and a select few friends who I have a strong suspicion don’t actually read it but are my followers none the less to support me in my writing endeavors, my friends are the best! I have a little fewer than three hundred words until I fill my quota for this week so I will fill it up with meaningless chatter and hope no one reads my next two entries. On a side not I am about to be kicked out of the basement by my mother who obviously has more right to it then me because she bought the house so I am going to cut this off here because the only computer is downstairs.
Now we’re back to the final drive. I’ve already told you all about the practice for the final drive and am now onto the actual final drive. If you have read any of my earlier entries you would already know that I received a negative four on this drive and am now stuck driving with the DOT. Just a quick recap for my neglectful readers who have forgotten (or not read any of my blogs prior to this), I was driver two driving the second portion of a planned route that you were required to memorize and execute that began with parallel parking and ended back at Kennedy. Points were deducted in increments of five and you were not allowed to ask for help. By now I’m sure everyone has created a not so flattering opinion of my capabilities as a driver so you all hear the words parallel park and are all probably expecting some comical story of a disastrous blunder made attempting to parallel park. For those of you that fall into this category I pleased to say I must disappoint you. I did perfectly average on my parking job. An over achiever the word average is unacceptable but if you are like me you learn to accept you insufficiencies and accept a C as opposed to a lesser grade. Now that were back on topic we’ll pick up after my semi successful parallel parking. I began my route smoothly I hit all my turns obeyed the traffic laws and was beginning to calm down slightly (from psyching myself out before the drive) when I accidently missed my turnoff. I automatically got five points deducted right then but even worse than that I immediately began freaking out and over analyzing everything. Once I was off course became severely disoriented and couldn’t think clearly. Mr. Tilden had to give me step by step directions to get back on course which deducted an additional five points leaving me with only five left making it an automatic fail and a obligated drive with the DOT. But on with the story Mr. Tilden was guiding me to an exit that would bring me back on course which I promptly missed and had to be given extra instructions to the next nearest point where I could get back on track. Back where I was supposed to be I was stopped about to turn left at a light that required me to drive over a cross walk which is perfectly acceptable given there is no one crossing at the time. Unfortunately for me there was someone crossing at the time and even worse luck they were and idiot. It is here that I almost committed murder and that idiot I didn’t run over should thank there lucky stars the Mr. Tilden has an emergency brake on his side. Here’s how it happened, I was half way through my turn when the person started crossing (I’m going to say it was a guy for simplicities sake.) So I stop to let him go. Seeing me stop he quickly steps back onto the curb to let me go. I think this is nice of him and begin to slowly finish my turn. Then the stupid pedestrian decides that he doesn’t want to wait for me to finish the turn and starts crossing. I immediately stop but as soon as I stop so does he and he steps back towards the curb not completely on it. Other cars are starting to get frustrated with us so I take a chance and decide he want me to pass. This time I start going quicker to just get my turn done with but it seems the pedestrian was thinking the same thing. We both start moving at the same time at a faster speed. This would’ve been very bad if Mr. Tilden hadn’t slammed on his emergency brake just then I don’t like to think what would’ve happened. To quote Mr. Tilden his exact word were “What were you thinking Ashley?!Could you not see the person?!!”. The way this is written out it sounds like this was a time consuming exchange but in reality that entire ordeal was in less than three minutes. From here I try to salvage what is left of my drive and manage to get back to Kennedy only getting off course one more time. If you read all this and actually bother to add up all my points or rather deductions seeing as I had no points left you would see that Mr. Tilden was a very gracious grader.